Whose Most Important?

I am wondering why it is so hard for women to put themselves first.  Does anybody have any thoughts on this?  Do we just have the instincts to put everybody before our self?  Are we just born this way?

Before I met my husband I loved working out.  And I'm not sure what happened along the way, but my feeling is that I got lost.  It's not that I lost my love for working out, but I can only assume that I found a love for other things.  My husband is a CPA and tax season at our house can be very lonely.  I would have all of this extra time, yet I would sit at home pining for him.  Does anybody see something wrong with this picture?  I've always prided myself on the fact that I was not one of "those" women who lost themselves in their boyfriend/husband.  Needless to say, I think I only got more lost when I got married.

My husband and I have had numerous conversations on why I wasn't working out as much.  And the dagger to the heart..."that was one of the reasons I feel in love with you"  Now, I think we all know that you can't really change until you want to.  Then one day when I was driving to work I thought to myself "why am I not putting myself first?"  I don't acknowledge that it was a profound thought, but that same thought did stick with me for the remainder of the day. 

The last few weeks I think I've found my mojo again.  I've been going to exercise classes at my gym.  These classes have been intense and exhilarating!  Most importantly I'm not worrying about what my husband will have for dinner or if our dog Bella is in her kennel for too long.  It's more like a fleeting thought because I realized that I don't have to carry this burden seven days out of the week.  I think that working on myself has made me a better partner (or at least I'd like to think so).

I've always heard that women should put themselves first, then their husband and followed by their children.  Logically this makes perfect sense, but why don't we do it?  If we did this would we be physically and mentally healthier?  Would our divorce rate decrease and would there be less infidelity?

I don't have an answers on this topic since I'm still trying to figure it for myself.  Well, who ever said that self discovery happens overnight?  Either way, it's food for thought!

~~~~ and on a side note, I made an impulse purchase and bought a kitten when I was in Madison this week.  I was a little nervous that my husband would be surprised, but not in the good way.  The good news is that he loves the kitten.  We've named him Albert but he goes by Squirt.  The rest of the family is still adapting.  I've got a dog that scared of a 3lb kitty and two other cats that aren't feeling the vibe yet.  Pictures to follow soon!