Today is my birthday and I'm turning a whopping 31 years old today! In recent years I've been known to get really bummed out about my birthday and even get down right crabby. Here are my reasons, and hopefully you'll understand where I am coming from.
I don't have a huge issue with getting old; however, I have a major issue with people around me getting older. It seems like just the other day that my dad turned 40 and we had a birthday party for him. Now he's on the verge of 60...and retirement! How did my 20's fly by so quickly? It seems like just a few short months ago I was in college and studying was my biggest priority (wow, times have sure changed). How is it even possible that I taught Sunday school to bunch of young third graders who are now in college? It's hard to handle that not only are you getting older, but that the people you really care about are getting older as well. I've seen other people my age start to deal with the failing health of their parents and that starts to hit a little to close to home.
I am way too analytical about my life. When I reach my birthday I question most things I've done, said or actions I've taken. Have I been nice enough? Have I spoken my opinion enough? Was I social enough? Am I happy at my job? Am I making enough money? Should I have more money? Did I sell myself short in any areas? Am I eating healthy enough? Should I be exercising more (yes)? Have I worked at my relationship with my husband sufficiently? Why am I entering into my early 30's with no children? Do I even want children? Is it ok not to want children?
I'm sure questions like that are enough to drive any sane person crazy! I think it becomes more difficult when you compare yourself to others. I know that I should not compare myself to others...but how many people actually do that?
Here's my plan for age 31: I am going to stop "shoulding" myself and just start doing things that I want to do (well, within reason). I'm also going to continue to work on those relationships with people that are the most important to me. I'm horrible at staying in contact with others, but I vow to make a serious improvement this year.
In the end, not everything about birthdays are horrible. This morning I came into the office and had my favorite Starbucks drink waiting for me as well as a triple chocolate donut from a fabulous local bakery. Tonight I plan to not make dinner and ask my husband where he's taking me for my birthday! And then, before the day is done I'll have a gigantic slice of birthday cake!
Yes, it will be a happy birthday!
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